I exceeded my own awesomeness levels in my dream last night. Apparently I'm more than just a pretty face and a writer, I'm an interior decorator with a panache for Italian Renaissance styles and I'm an exorcist on the side.
That's right. I'm like Walmart, your one stop for everything. But with more class and a better vocabulary.
I can drive luxury seven-figure sports cars, too.
So last night's dream brought me to the mansion of a gentleman in his early-to-mid sixties with a flair for drama and an overdeveloped sense of importance. But regardless, he was paying me a very large sum of money to redesign his home—inside and out—into a palace fit for a14th Century Italian King...although I'm not sure that's historically accurate. Forgive my laziness in not researching it, this is the internet, I know without a doubt I'll be corrected if I'm wrong.
Anyway, I have no idea what the gentleman's name was, but he gave me free reign of his checking account and Centurion Card so that I could take care of the exterior renovation as well as the interior redecoration, too.
During this process we discovered that the gentleman's mother's spirit was in the house and—not wanting any changes made—was causing quite a fuss. She would fall trees so that the workmen couldn't get up the drive to the estate, she would loosen the fittings on the scaffolding that the painters were using for installing a fresco in the dome of the main foyer, and she would inevitably find a new way to delay each phase of our work.
My boss informed me that—mother or not—she had to go.
So I befriended the poltergeist; somehow I earned her trust and—even though she didn't stop with her tricks—I got her to at least show herself to her son and I. Finally, when she was close enough (both in trust and proximity) I began to exorcise her. I held my left hand in front of me and began chanting words in another language that began to draw her into the ball of energy power that I held in front of my extended hand. She was caught so unaware that had her to the point that I only needed to touch her to seal her into the energy-ball and then I could (somehow) banish her to 'the other side'. Unfortunately, she was quite strong and at the very last minute, she rallied her supernatural strength and blasted away from me.
Having betrayed her, she became extremely vengeful and started injuring workmen, destroying equipment, and finally setting a fire that would result in multiple deaths and total destruction of the home. As we went to flee the premises (I was given the keys to what I called the Batmobile. It was Shadow Grey on the outside and the inside was the same dark grey trimmed in black with touches of red throughout it. I'm not a car-person, but that car was sexy.
I could tell right away that she had set this up. For some reason we could only leave in a vehicle (fires, perhaps? My memory is unclear in the reason why.) but all of the vehicles had been moved in such a way that no one could get out. No worries, though, remember I'm your one stop shop. Plus I learned to drive in reverse before I ever learned to drive going forward thanks to a Chevy clutch I just could not get along with so I jumped into the Batmobile, made a series of maneuvers, zipped over to the boss and he jumped in and we were out.
It was sad to see all the work destroyed, but we decided that in this instance we were better off with a blank canvas anyway.
Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.