Two for the price of one



Thanks to an explosive first dream, last night brings you two dreams for your entertainment!

Dream #1
The first dream started out in an office that I apparently worked at doing an unknown desk job for an unknown business.  Two knowns, however, were two twin women who were childhood friends of mine.  Both were wearing the bun-on-top-of-the-head hairstyle of a schoolteacher in the late 19th century.  (You girls pulled it off, don't worry!)  They also showed up sans their freckles.


Whoever our boss was gave us new calculators (remember the calculators from the 90's that had the rhinestone buttons?).  We got new rhinestone calculators with the clear diamond-esque buttons.  Fancy.  Especially one of the twins', hers sparkled like real diamonds set in Platinum.

I'm wondering if we worked for a church because much of the dream was also set inside of this massive stone cathedral on an island.  During one of the services there were many extremely rude young people calling others out on their misdeeds and throwing shoes at each other.  One of the most unique features of the church—aside from the fact that it was on an island (and occupied the whole of that island)—is the fact that it was guarded by an albino water dragon that surfaced for five minutes every hour to patrol the area around the church.

Anyway, after work (or church, whichever it was) I was on my way home.  I was at an intersection where the white truck in front of me turned left.  As I advanced to the stop sign this little green Fiat-type-of-car shot in front of me and blew up.

Thus startling me awake!  And my husband, too, who was completely unfazed when I explained it away with "The car in front of me blew up" and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

This morning he explained to me that I actually made the explosion sound in my sleep.  He described it as an aerosol can exploding.  The vocal almost 'startled-by-my-own-snore' type of sound that I caught myself making as I woke up reminded me of a rabid dog, but I can see that it would be equally startling to wake up to an exploding can of hairspray, too.

Dream #2
The second dream centered around the Olympics.  I'm not sure if the U.S. was hosting them and decided to build them over international waters or if it was a World Sponsored Olympics built over international waters.  The point is that the Olympics were built over the ocean.  Pretty cool, right?  Not when I'm apparently the Director of Making Sure that Everything Goes Right (DMSEGR); that's setting someone up for failure big time.

Which is how it all started.

For the opening ceremonies, as the torch was lit, David Hasslehoff jumped from a plane where he was supposed to give a great opening speech as he descended onto the middle of the arena built over the ocean.

All started out as planned, he gave his speech looking straight into the camera as he nonchalantly pulled the parachute cord and kept going perfectly, even when a gust of wind blew him off course and kept his parachute from fully opening.  The Hoff continued perfectly in-spite of the deadly plummet he faced.  When his parachute finally caught another gust of wind that opened it up, The Hoff (understandably) broke down into tears of relief as he confessed he was struggling to pretend that everything was going as planned for the sake of the ratings.

His planned landing in a stadium full of spectators didn't happen, the wind blew him off course into the water near some sailboats.

Another gust of wind blew a storm over the stadium which drenched the thousands in attendance, but that was the least of everyone's concerns as the structure started to crack and groan under the weight of the fans and the force of the storm.  To say that the entire compound went down faster than the Titanic would be an understatement worthy of an award.  Fans were drowning each other in an effort to stay afloat.  (Why were there no souvenir Olympic life jackets being sold?  Hello!)  Fortunately, we discovered bales of hay that had been submerged and stacked under the water that had been meant to serve as a barrier to marine life that could have been damaged by construction and activity.  This gave a large number of us something to stand on until help arrived from Cincinnati (don't ask, it's a dream...they don't always make sense).

As the DMSEGR, I was one of the first to be air-lifted out.  They dropped a harness, I slipped it on and then I was airborne on a rope dangling out of a gyro-copter.  No Apaches or Blackhawks for me.  A gyro-copter.  I assume this was the Olympic Committee's way of telling me I was fired.
Ashley Harris Wife & Mom

Ashley is a thirty-something wife and mother of two boys. She enjoys spending time with her family, as well as reading and decorating their home. Her blogging adventures began in 2006 as a single mother and have carried on through marriage and a new life with a husband, a ten-year-old, and an infant.

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